Ignorance is Bliss
by CodeNameZimbabwe
Summary: Drew is having girl troubles. Who can he turn to for some good advice? None other than Ash! No wait, that can't be right! Ash! Really? Oh boy.......oneshot....DAML....AAML.....Enjoy! xD


**A/N****: ** Yowzaaaa triple updates over the past couple days!!! That's like a record for me! So The Legendaerie L-T and I decided to write spin-offs of each other's stories! This story here is supplementary to her fic, Silence is Golden, so naturally, I do suggest reading that first! And while you're at it, go check out the rest of her fics! They're all awesome!!! And so, with that, on to the story!

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**Ignorance is Bliss**

"So May's giving you the silent treatment? Well, that's not good!" Ash garbled, his mouth full of fries.

Both disgusted and annoyed, Drew turned away to watch May, Misty, and Dawn walk away across the food court. Sighing, he flicked his hair. "Well, I've kinda figured that out already. Urgh, it just sucks cuz she won't even tell me why she's mad."

"Well, obviously she's mad," Ash said, prying the ketchup bottle out of Pikachu's paws and drenching his fries in it.

Drew facefaulted. "Yeah, I got that, Sherlock."

Ash menacingly shook a french fry in Drew's face. "Don't get snippy with me, man! I wasn't done talking! Obviously she's mad, _comma_, because you insulted her. So you need to make it up to her somehow."

"Duh." Drew stated. "But just how do you propose I do that?"

"Well, see, here's where I can help you! It just so happens I know a _lot _about girls!" Ash shoved a handful of fries into his mouth, then leaned back in his chair with a smirk.

Drew blinked. "And I'm a loaf of bread…….No, seriously. You can ask my mom." He added as Ash narrowed his eyes.

"Alright, Mr. Sarcasm, enough of this! I've traveled day and night with three different girls, including your girlfriend! That's a hell of a lot more than you can say!"

"Yeah, well, maybe that's cuz, unlike some people, I can function on my own, and I don't need a bunch of groupies to constantly tell me how great I am! I already know!" He sat back, smirking.

"Alright, fine!" Ash said, holding up his hands in surrender. "I guess I won't tell you then!"

Drew frowned suspiciously. "Tell me what?"

Ash shook his head. "Nothing, nothing! Forget I said anything! It's just a little secret I know….It's how I got Misty to go out with me, and it could probably help you with your May situation……But it doesn't matter….." His eyes flickered devilishly.

"Alright! Jeez! I'm sorry! Now just tell me! Man, I can't believe I'm about to take girl advice from Ash Ketchum, but I'm desperate! Now spit it out!" Drew cried, leaning forward eagerly.

"Not unless you say the magic word!" Ash said with a smirk.

Drew rolled his eyes. "Okay! Please?"

"Pretty please with a cherry on top!"

Another eye roll from Drew. "Pretty please with a cherry on top."

"And chocolate sauce and whipped cream and sprinkles!"

Drew groaned. "Oh my God! And chocolate sauce and whipped cream and sprinkles! Dammit, Ash, tell me!"

Ash fell back in his chair, laughing wildly. "Okay, okay! I'll tell you! There are three rules to dealing with the fickle female mind. And, like I said, they've worked like a charm for me! Rule one! Never forget things! Rule two! Compliment them! Rule three! Know when to shut up! I'm tellin' ya! It works for every girl!"

Drew blinked. "Ash, you never abide by those rules."

"Hell yeah I do! How else do you think I get my shirt to stay so blue?!"

"What are you talking about?! That doesn't even make sense!"

"Sure it does!" Ash grinned. "I guess there's an unstated fourth rule I forgot to mention. When in doubt, if you can't dazzle them with intelligence, baffle them with insanity!" He nodded proudly.

"That sounds more like you….." Drew sweatdropped. "But like that'll work on May! She won't think that's charming in the least!"

"Well then here! I'll walk you through it! You go up to her and apologize right off the bat! Then remind her of a good time you had together to soften things up! That falls under rule one! It'll let her know your time together really mattered to you!"

"Okay…..then what?"

"Then rule two!" Ash continued, holding up a second finger. "Compliment her! Tell her silence is flattering on her or something! Then, if she still won't talk to you, reel 'er in with the third rule! Just stop talking and kiss her! Mwah!" He snickered, mimicking a make-out session with his hands.

Drew winced, but smiled. "Y'know, Ash, I hate to say it, but that's actually a good idea!"

Ash blew on his hand, pretending to polish his shoulder. "Yeah, that's right! You can thank me at your wedding!"

Drew chuckled. "Yeah, we'll just see about that!" He looked up. "Oh boy, right on cue! Here she comes!"

"Don't sweat it, man! Just remember the three rules! Don't forget things, compliments, and know when to shut up! You'll be fine!" Having said this, he shoved the rest of the fries into his mouth.

"Heh, well, I don't think I'll get the chance. Misty and Dawn are with her."

Ash choked. "Say what?!"

He whipped around and, sure enough, the three fickle females were heading straight for their table.

"Oh shit!" Ash cried. "Misty's coming! Hold me, Drew! I'm scared!" He latched onto Drew's arm, nervously glancing back at the approaching girls.

"What the hell? Why?" Drew said, prying Ash off of him.

"Grrrr….Ash!" Misty called angrily.

"Because!" he whimpered. "The other night I forgot Misty and I had a date together, then I apparently insulted her, so I tried apologizing over and over, but she just hit me and said I didn't know when to shut up! AAAHHH!!! She's coming! What do I DOOOO?!"

Drew just shook his head, mentally checking off Ash's three violations.

"Three rules, Ash! That's all I'm gonna say!"

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**A/N****: ** The endddd!! Hope you liked it! Thanks for readinggggg!!! /\_/\


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